Monday, May 23, 2016

My Girl

I got Chloe when I was dating a guy that I ended up marrying.  He was physically and emotionally abusive to both of us, and when we left that situation I always thought of us girls as "war buddies," having gone through things together that only the two of us would ever have to know about.  I know that we were both so so lucky to have each other when we did.

We found Blake when Chloe was about 3 and he immediately took to her, and her to him.  She was definitely his little girl, too.

As you know, we just moved to Seattle after Christmas..making the cross country road trip from DC to Atlanta (to see family), then to out here and I will always be happy for that week long adventure we all had together, just the three of us.  

In early March, Chloe blew out her knee...we had the surgery later that month.  She developed pneumonia from the anesthesia, but was bouncing right back-quicker than we could have guessed!  We actually were just at the vet on her last Saturday morning (a month after her surgery) and everyone was complimenting on how well she was healing and getting back to her old silly, bouncy self.  

Then, that very same Saturday evening, Chloe just started acting really "off."  She wasn't able to get comfy...she was super lethargic...and just uneasy.  When she would get up she would literally walk over to a corner and just stand there.  It was so sad and weird!  We thought maybe it was an upset belly (Blake let her have a piece of steak when we grilled out Saturday evening).  She wasn't really eating much Sunday (unless, of course I cooked chicken and fed it to her in bed-always a princess)!

That Monday, Blake and I texted all day worrying about her.  I cried off and on throughout the day, just knowing things were not OK.  When we got home  and she was still unhappy, we called our vet (who we have grown to love so quickly!) who told us we should immediately take her to the hospital.  Chloe's gums were white and our vet was concerned she was bleeding internally.  

We went straight to the hospital (where her surgery was done) and they confirmed that she was essentially bleeding out, internally.  She had a ruptured tumor in her spleen, that we wouldn't have even known she had.  IF they were able to clean it all up and remove the damage and the tumor, there was only a 25% chance that the tumor would not be cancer and she would likely only have another month or so with us. 

It was all just such a shock.  After doing so well with her knee.  And for this to all be so unrelated.  It was just super crappy luck and timing.

Saying goodbye to my little girl was the hardest thing I have ever done - but I am so grateful I was able to be there with her when she needed me the most. Thinking if things had happened differently, if she had been home alone and in pain...I just can't bare it.

In the weeks that followed Chloe's departure we have been shown SO MUCH love and support from literally all over the world.  It's been overwhelming, in the nicest possible way!  People knew what a special girl we had and loved her just as much as we did, and will continue to.

It's now been a month without her.  Coming home is still rough, not having her there to greet us.  Our schedules are so different now, not needing to make time in the AM to take care of her and get her ready for her day, as well as our own; no longer being in a rush to get home after work to see her and let her out.  I still have a hard time being around other dogs, particularly large ones without wishing my girl was there too.

And so, I leave here on the internet a few more of seen before, and never seen before pictures of my wee little best friend.  She was hands down the best girl ever and I am SO lucky that I had those 11 years with her.  Her absence has left a void in my heart, but the memories I have with her will last forever.  A fellow runner/blogger friend shared this with me and it resonates so true. "Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."

Rest in peace, my baby girl.

Chloe Gilbert Ohlstrom
February 22, 2005 - April 25, 2016


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